Grown up in a problematic family is always gonna affect your life. I don't know if I think too much, but every time when I want to take a step forward I took a step back instead. I don't want to drag others into this kind of situation where they can be so stress dealing with my family issues. I am so fed up with them until, honestly I hate to go home that I would just distance myself far away. I tried to cope with it, tried to trust them but they kept disappoint me. All these commitment make me to think twice before I would like to do anything, end up being so indecisive. Things just don't look right for me if there is no answer, I hate guessing, I don't want risk, I am afraid to end up awkwardly. I thought I can be realistic actually, if you can't love your family how can you keep someone you like feeling loved? If you can't give your family enough financial support how can you expect to offer her a carefree shelter?